Grief, Loss & Bereavement

Grief is not one-size-fits-all. There is no timeline for it, and there is no correct way to do it.

We often think of grief as something that follows the death of someone we love, but we can grieve many different kinds of losses. We can grieve a relationship, a change in health, a move, a child leaving home, a life transition, or simply the realization that something we hoped for or expected is not going to be the way we imagined.

And grief does not always look like sadness.

You may be angry. You may feel guilty. You may be anxious or irritable. You may have trouble concentrating or feel exhausted by things that normally wouldn’t overwhelm you. You may feel relieved—and then feel guilty for feeling relieved. You may be doing surprisingly well and wonder what that says about you.

Usually, it doesn’t say anything other than that you are grieving in your own way.

One of the things I often help clients understand is that two things can be true at the same time. You can miss someone terribly and also be angry with them. You can be grateful for what you had and wish things had been different. You can laugh, enjoy something, or have a really good day and still be grieving.

You don’t have to choose between holding on and moving forward.

In therapy, we make room for all of it.

You can talk about the person you lost as much—or as little—as you need to. You can tell the same story more than once. You can talk about the things you miss and the things you don’t miss. There is room for sadness, anger, love, resentment, humor, guilt, relief, confusion, and sometimes feelings that are difficult to even put into words.

Grief can also be especially complicated when the relationship itself was complicated. Losing someone does not suddenly erase everything that happened in the relationship. Sometimes you are grieving the person you had, the relationship you wished you had, and the things that will now never have an opportunity to be different. All of those losses deserve space.

There is also the very practical work of learning how to live in a life that has changed.

The first holiday. The first birthday. Walking into a room where someone is missing. Making a decision you would normally have discussed with them. Watching other people go back to their lives while yours still feels different. Sometimes grief is in the big moments, and sometimes it catches you completely off guard in the middle of an ordinary day.

Therapy does not take those moments away. What it can do is give you a place to understand what is happening, learn how to care for yourself through it, and gradually discover that you can experience painful feelings without always being overwhelmed by them.

I don’t see the goal of grief therapy as “getting over” a loss.

The people we love and the experiences that shape us become part of who we are. Moving forward does not mean forgetting, letting go, or deciding that the loss no longer matters. It means gradually learning how to carry it differently.

Over time, there can be more room for other parts of life again. There can be connection, meaning, laughter, relationships, and new experiences alongside the grief. One does not cancel out the other.

You do not have to grieve according to someone else’s timetable, and you do not have to do it perfectly.

There is no “right way” to grieve—only your way.

You’re welcome to reach out to learn more about grief and loss therapy or to schedule a consultation.